I tweeted not too long ago about how one of the byproducts of doing something you've never done is that you are consistantly learning something you've never known. As I pursue this dream God's placed on my heart to plant a church I find myself in constant discovery mode. I'm reading books, blogs, tweets and newsletters from church planters. I'm drinking more than my share of coffee with guys who have done it and others who are in the process of planting now. I'm picking the brain of everyone I know who has an ounce of experience in pastoring and church planting. In short I'm getting schooled and I love it!
One of the most fun parts is that for every question I get answered I walk away with three more that I need to research. The opening lines of Proverbs call for discovery encouraging readers to attain wisdom, acquire discipline and offers to give prudence, knowledge and discretion. The writer suggests that the wise listen and add to their learning.
So my question is what are you learning? Where are you being challanged? We were created to love God with our minds. To honor Him with our learning and discorvery and even with our questions. The more I learn how much I don't know the more I'm driven to my knees. There is a richness in understanding your desperation and dependance on God. The harder we lean on Him the more we understand and trust in His strength!
So go ahead learn something new today. Ask a tough question. Have coffee with someone who will streach your mind and your heart. Honor your God with your mind!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Many Hands Make Light Work
As I've delved into the church planting world over these past few weeks I've had a chance to talk to several other pastors who have already planted churches. Let me tell you if you want to strengthen your faith level and get excited about a God who moves in amazing ways, talk to a church planter! Over and over again I've heard stories of Gods favor, faithfulness and His power to save. I hear about building bought for a song, people saved and changes, families restored, checks showing up in the nick of time, people healed, amazing favor with local authorties and so much more!
It gets me excited to see what "Goliath's" are going to try and stand in our way, because every giant is an opportunity to see God move!
One way that God often chooses to move is through His people. The bible is chalk full of stories of God mobilizing people to join forces to accomplish His works. One of the ways I know that God is in this is that we are already seeing Him inspiring people to partner with us in a variety of ways.
In fact many more are asking "How can we help?" So many of you see the need for and the potential of a solid community church in the Plaza/Brookside area. It a challenge that is too big for any one of us, but one that with Gods' help, we can tackle together! We were created for community and together we can reach what no one of us can reach alone.
So How can you help? Right now there are four distinct ways people can join hands with us. I'll give a brief out line of each below and over the next week explain each on further detail.
1. PRAY! Anything can happen when we pray, nothing can happen until we do. We are looking for 200 people to join with us as prayer warriors. The ground we hope to take is full of the enemies lies, addictions and deceptions. We need a team that will join with us. Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but the principalities of the evil one and the only way to win a spiritual battle is with spiritual weapons. Please consider joining and supporting us in prayer!
2. Special Forces: We're going to need some helping hands as we plan some big projects to help reach people for Christ. Our Special Forces team would be an on call team that would come out on special occasions to help build stuff, contact people, set things up, support a ministry event, paint, make phone calls, ect...
3. Financial Support: This can be a tricky thing to ask for so I'll just be as honest and transparent as possible. My goal is to raise my salary through individuals and church supporting us as home missionaries. I'm asking that those who join with us financially would make a simple two year commitment. My reason for this is simple: I want to take that financial burden off the church in these early years. I'd much rather pour our full resources back into ministry and outreach and start from a strong financial position as a church. Please pray for us as this is an immediate need and potential stress point. We're trusting God that He will provide.
4. Be a church planter! So how cool would it be to establish a ministry that, should the Lord tarry, will be advancing Gods kingdom long after you and I both are dead and gone! How amazing to work side by side with God and see people changed not just for just for "life" for for eternity!! To see entire families restored, to see addictions broken, to see the broken restored and so much more! Join us! Step out of the safe boat into the stormy water and watch as God does miracle after miracle! I could go on all day! Pray about it, maybe God is calling YOU to be a church planter!!
whew! There's so much more to say but I'll save it for later. Please pray. Pray for us, pray for the church, pray for the lost, pray for how God would be calling you to partner with us! Pray, pray, pray! Thanks and God bless!!!
It gets me excited to see what "Goliath's" are going to try and stand in our way, because every giant is an opportunity to see God move!
One way that God often chooses to move is through His people. The bible is chalk full of stories of God mobilizing people to join forces to accomplish His works. One of the ways I know that God is in this is that we are already seeing Him inspiring people to partner with us in a variety of ways.
In fact many more are asking "How can we help?" So many of you see the need for and the potential of a solid community church in the Plaza/Brookside area. It a challenge that is too big for any one of us, but one that with Gods' help, we can tackle together! We were created for community and together we can reach what no one of us can reach alone.
So How can you help? Right now there are four distinct ways people can join hands with us. I'll give a brief out line of each below and over the next week explain each on further detail.
1. PRAY! Anything can happen when we pray, nothing can happen until we do. We are looking for 200 people to join with us as prayer warriors. The ground we hope to take is full of the enemies lies, addictions and deceptions. We need a team that will join with us. Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but the principalities of the evil one and the only way to win a spiritual battle is with spiritual weapons. Please consider joining and supporting us in prayer!
2. Special Forces: We're going to need some helping hands as we plan some big projects to help reach people for Christ. Our Special Forces team would be an on call team that would come out on special occasions to help build stuff, contact people, set things up, support a ministry event, paint, make phone calls, ect...
3. Financial Support: This can be a tricky thing to ask for so I'll just be as honest and transparent as possible. My goal is to raise my salary through individuals and church supporting us as home missionaries. I'm asking that those who join with us financially would make a simple two year commitment. My reason for this is simple: I want to take that financial burden off the church in these early years. I'd much rather pour our full resources back into ministry and outreach and start from a strong financial position as a church. Please pray for us as this is an immediate need and potential stress point. We're trusting God that He will provide.
4. Be a church planter! So how cool would it be to establish a ministry that, should the Lord tarry, will be advancing Gods kingdom long after you and I both are dead and gone! How amazing to work side by side with God and see people changed not just for just for "life" for for eternity!! To see entire families restored, to see addictions broken, to see the broken restored and so much more! Join us! Step out of the safe boat into the stormy water and watch as God does miracle after miracle! I could go on all day! Pray about it, maybe God is calling YOU to be a church planter!!
whew! There's so much more to say but I'll save it for later. Please pray. Pray for us, pray for the church, pray for the lost, pray for how God would be calling you to partner with us! Pray, pray, pray! Thanks and God bless!!!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The church plant update
What a month it's been! I've not blogged in quite sometime but it's not been for a lack of things to talk about. Over the next few days I'm going to post several shorter blogs that all feed together to form a greater message. And I'm going to break the communicators most basic rule right off the top here; I'm going to tell you how it all ends before I even begin.
By the end of next week you're going to know exactly how you can be a part of this church plant project. Doesn't matter if you live 400 miles away or 4 miles, you can (and I hope that you will!) be a part of the birth of this new ministry. God is moving and I'm so excited to see how he's going to use all of us to team together to reach His prodigal kids in the Plaza/Brookside area! Please be in prayer with us this week. It's an amazing and powerful thing to know God has a plan and humbling and exciting to know He lets us in on it!
till tomorrow...
By the end of next week you're going to know exactly how you can be a part of this church plant project. Doesn't matter if you live 400 miles away or 4 miles, you can (and I hope that you will!) be a part of the birth of this new ministry. God is moving and I'm so excited to see how he's going to use all of us to team together to reach His prodigal kids in the Plaza/Brookside area! Please be in prayer with us this week. It's an amazing and powerful thing to know God has a plan and humbling and exciting to know He lets us in on it!
till tomorrow...
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Plaza Church
Many of you have called and written asking about this new endeavor Christina and I are about to jump into and are wondering about where and why we are planning to plant a church. Below is a paper I'm writing for our district leaders as a part of my application process. It hopefully brings some clarity to the questions: where are we planting, why are we planting and what do we hope to accomplish.
Like most of my blogs so far it's way too long, but the reason I'm posting it is to pull back the curtain a bit and let all my friends see my heart and the direction the God is leading me. Let me know what you think. I'm learning and changing by the day as I assimilate more information and as I'm praying through the direction that God is leading us.
The Plaza Church
My heart for this church plant is simply this: to build a Christ-centered pentecostal community focused on serving, loving and discipling the people who live in and round the 64112 area code (Commonly known as “The Plaza”). We typically leave the term “unreached people group” for overseas missions, but I believe that moniker applies to this locale and it’s residents.
A quick search at zipskinny.com reveals an interesting demographic. The people in the zip code of the Plaza are for the most part college educated, single young adults who are employed and making a decent but not lavish wage (35-45k on average). Like most of us at that stage in life many are just beginning to define who they are, and what course their lives are going to take. They work hard at their jobs and love their social life. But many are searching for a larger meaning.
Save as Draft
They are a very socially conscience generation and the latest studies show that they are intrigued by, but not involved in, Christianity and Church. A new study from Lifeway Research shows that 2 out of 3 individuals in this age group call themselves Christian and 70% say that the Church is still relevant. These are surprising, and encouraging numbers to be sure. However the sad stat is this one: Of those who identify with Christ: only 25% actually go to church.
My first reaction is “Why?” Having grown up in church and having spent the last 9 years of my life employed in ministry in the church, I know what a powerful place a community of believers can be. I know the strength I’ve drawn, spiritually, emotionally, socially and mentally, through the ministries and relationships I’ve found in the church. So why then are these believers (not to mention the vast numbers of unbelievers) avoiding the church? Why are they disconnecting from Christ and his family at an alarming rate?
The answer to this question is, I assume, as varied as the individuals we would ask to answer it. Some are turned off by style, some by bad experiences, some by the desires and distractions of the world and some simply never felt connected and slowly drifted away. I don’t know that there is any single solution to the many excuses for why people are not coming to church. But I do know that a healthy, loving, Christ centered community is the hope of the world. I do know that when done well, there is nothing on earth so powerful as the church. Nothing is better at growing individuals into the fullness of Christ and empowering them to live their life to it’s fullest.
I think that’s why I want to plant a church. I see a multitude of people searching for a cause that is bigger than success and stuff. A generation accosted by the corruption of their culture and in response something in them is crying out to rise above the fray and live a life worth dying for. And than I see the cross. The simple, beautiful cross and the Savor that laid down His life to give me a salvation I didn’t even know I needed. The old saying goes “They won’t care what you know until they know that you care.” And I believe that the truth in that saying applies in our day as much as ever. God’s vehicle for the presentation of His love is the power of the cross, lifted up through the witness of the local church. This area needs the light in the midst of the darkness.
What will this church look like? To be honest I don’t know. Much of the style and look of the church will be formed in response to the insight we gain as we learn more about the culture and people that live there. Ed Stetzer says in the book “Planting Missional Churches” that “The most biblical church is the one in which the cross is the only stumbling block for the unchurched.” I like that. The cross is a non-negotiable. Discovering what connects people to the cross, and then executing that with a commitment to excellence will determine the style, or look, of the church. I have my ideas and plans for what I think that will look like, but I’m holding loosely to my plans until I better understand the local culture.
I think that possibly the only absolute non-negotiable’s in the formation of a church are Theology and Community.
I believe that if a church is solid in it’s commitment to a Biblical theology then it’s people will grow in their personal relationships with Christ and their lives will reflect that. As important as it is to be culturally relevant, the medium only matters if the message is transformational and nothing is more transformational than Gods word. It’s important that a church is not only committed to teaching Gods word, but teaching its people to love and engage in Gods word for themselves.
Community is an old buzz word that I think has lost much of its impact as it’s become a bit over used. Community does not simply describe a gathering of people. Community implies a group of people with a common unity that draws them together for the betterment of the individual and the group as a whole. In Gods family we are to be defined by our love for each other. The “It” factor that drives the vitality of a community is that they simply like being together. They enjoy the gathering and laughter is commonplace. When one suffers they all suffer, when one mourns they all mourn, when one rejoices they all rejoice as though the joy is there own! I would love to see people identify church as their favorite place to hang out.
We cannot afford to fail at proclaiming God’s unchanging word in a relevant way or at creating an atmosphere of Christ centered community where we are best known by our love for each other and for our world. If we have these elements we fulfill the great commandment to love God with all of our heart, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves.
I’m learning so much right now about the process of building a church. I’ve so many questions about legal issues, finances, payroll, incorporation, organization and leadership structures, developing a board, and so much more. Growing up in church and in a pastor’s home I have a basic understanding of much of this, but I have so much more to learn.
Thanks you for allowing me to share my heart with you about this potential church plant. In some ways I feel like a pregnant mother, this dream planted in my heart and I can’t wait to see what it will look like, feel like, sound like and how it will live. I can’t wait to see who God brings alongside of my wife and I to work with us in this harvest. I can’t wait to find the Godly men and women God has already planted around the Plaza who are currently praying for God to bring a local church to their area.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A brave new world.
Dear friends,
As many of you may have heard by now Christina and I are entering into a exciting new adventure in our ministry lives. I know there are a lot of questions about what these changes are and what they mean for the youth ministry here at Evangel. I’d like to take a minute and share my heart for our new adventure and also for the future of the the youth group.
For some time now Christina and I have been feeling a sense of impending change in our lives. We love youth ministry and we love the students here at Evangel but we began to feel like God was setting us up for a new direction. The problem was we really had no idea what that direction was. There were many days I felt a bit like Abraham must have felt when he was hearing God say "Leave... your people and... go to the land I will show you. “ I felt a sense of God calling me to step out, but not knowing what the next step was. Pastor Jason and I talked regularly about these things and have been praying together about this transition for almost 7 months now.
When I was 12 years old I was at a youth camp in Grass Lake, Michigan when I began to feel like God wanted me to be a youth pastor. From that moment on it was the only job I ever wanted. And other than a brief stint selling Polo shirts at Marshall Fields it’s the only full time job I’ve ever had. You can imagine my surprise when 20 years later I found myself thinking God might have a new job description in store for me. For the first time since 1988 I began to seriously consider a ministry other than to youth. I began to think about planting a church.
And that simple thought has become a driving force in my heart. I stay up at night thinking about it, I wake up early in the morning writing down ideas that formed in my heart through the night. Like a woman who has just found out that she’s pregnant my minds wonders to random dates in the future and I wonder what this baby will look like, sound like and feel like. I can’t wait to meet the people that Gods has been preparing for this ministry and to see the lives Gods will changes through it. I’m going to be a church planter, and that’s something that only God could have birthed in my heart.
In all honesty I have to admit I have moments where some anxiety creeps in and the doubts start to swirl through my mind. But in those moments God has repeatedly calmed my heart. He’s encouraged me through scriptures in my devotions, through encouraging words of friends and even through some surprising and timely wisdom from my three year old!
Just to be clear I want everyone to know this: I love Evangel. I love the youth ministry here, I love the friends and people that we’ve meet here, I love the staff and board and I’ve loved working with and growing to become friends with Pastor Jason. I have zero negative things to say about this amazing church and I consider it a honor and a blessing to have been able to serve and grow as a part of the staff here. This is with out a doubt one of the greatest churches I’ve ever been to, much less had the privilege to work with. I’ve already told Pastor Jason to get used to me asking questions because I want to learn from the guru himself as much as I can! Pastor Jason and I are committed to make this transition happen in the most healthy and loving way possible. God loves multiplication but hates division. We are in this together as friends and family in Christ.
I know there will be some questions. If that’s the case please feel free to ask. Christina and I would love to share our hearts with you and covet your prayers through this transition.
As for the youth ministry: No worries, it’s in good hands. We have four former youth pastors currently on staff and several more in our audience. Pastor Lisa is stepping up to make sure all the leadership needs are covered and that the ministry will not only be able to maintain, but I believe grow and thrive during this transition time. Please be praying as Pastor Jason and the team start the search for the next youth pastor. I know that God has a great leader that he’s preparing for this position and for our students. Pastor Kevin has been involved throughout this process and he and Krystal believe God has called them to stay in the Middle School position. They are absolutely rocking it over there and this summer is going to be amazing as they receive an influx of new 6th and 7th graders. Pray for them! I would love to see God bless the church with the finances to bring them on board full time. Will you pray for that with me?
If there are any other questions of things that I can help clarify please let me know. We love you all and want to thank you for the privilege we’ve had to serve your students these past four years.
God bless.
Jason B
As many of you may have heard by now Christina and I are entering into a exciting new adventure in our ministry lives. I know there are a lot of questions about what these changes are and what they mean for the youth ministry here at Evangel. I’d like to take a minute and share my heart for our new adventure and also for the future of the the youth group.
For some time now Christina and I have been feeling a sense of impending change in our lives. We love youth ministry and we love the students here at Evangel but we began to feel like God was setting us up for a new direction. The problem was we really had no idea what that direction was. There were many days I felt a bit like Abraham must have felt when he was hearing God say "Leave... your people and... go to the land I will show you. “ I felt a sense of God calling me to step out, but not knowing what the next step was. Pastor Jason and I talked regularly about these things and have been praying together about this transition for almost 7 months now.
When I was 12 years old I was at a youth camp in Grass Lake, Michigan when I began to feel like God wanted me to be a youth pastor. From that moment on it was the only job I ever wanted. And other than a brief stint selling Polo shirts at Marshall Fields it’s the only full time job I’ve ever had. You can imagine my surprise when 20 years later I found myself thinking God might have a new job description in store for me. For the first time since 1988 I began to seriously consider a ministry other than to youth. I began to think about planting a church.
And that simple thought has become a driving force in my heart. I stay up at night thinking about it, I wake up early in the morning writing down ideas that formed in my heart through the night. Like a woman who has just found out that she’s pregnant my minds wonders to random dates in the future and I wonder what this baby will look like, sound like and feel like. I can’t wait to meet the people that Gods has been preparing for this ministry and to see the lives Gods will changes through it. I’m going to be a church planter, and that’s something that only God could have birthed in my heart.
In all honesty I have to admit I have moments where some anxiety creeps in and the doubts start to swirl through my mind. But in those moments God has repeatedly calmed my heart. He’s encouraged me through scriptures in my devotions, through encouraging words of friends and even through some surprising and timely wisdom from my three year old!
Just to be clear I want everyone to know this: I love Evangel. I love the youth ministry here, I love the friends and people that we’ve meet here, I love the staff and board and I’ve loved working with and growing to become friends with Pastor Jason. I have zero negative things to say about this amazing church and I consider it a honor and a blessing to have been able to serve and grow as a part of the staff here. This is with out a doubt one of the greatest churches I’ve ever been to, much less had the privilege to work with. I’ve already told Pastor Jason to get used to me asking questions because I want to learn from the guru himself as much as I can! Pastor Jason and I are committed to make this transition happen in the most healthy and loving way possible. God loves multiplication but hates division. We are in this together as friends and family in Christ.
I know there will be some questions. If that’s the case please feel free to ask. Christina and I would love to share our hearts with you and covet your prayers through this transition.
As for the youth ministry: No worries, it’s in good hands. We have four former youth pastors currently on staff and several more in our audience. Pastor Lisa is stepping up to make sure all the leadership needs are covered and that the ministry will not only be able to maintain, but I believe grow and thrive during this transition time. Please be praying as Pastor Jason and the team start the search for the next youth pastor. I know that God has a great leader that he’s preparing for this position and for our students. Pastor Kevin has been involved throughout this process and he and Krystal believe God has called them to stay in the Middle School position. They are absolutely rocking it over there and this summer is going to be amazing as they receive an influx of new 6th and 7th graders. Pray for them! I would love to see God bless the church with the finances to bring them on board full time. Will you pray for that with me?
If there are any other questions of things that I can help clarify please let me know. We love you all and want to thank you for the privilege we’ve had to serve your students these past four years.
God bless.
Jason B
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The problem with pain.
A few months ago I posted a video on my Facebook showing some hard to watch scenes of Christian persecution overseas. It was painful and heartbreaking to watch my brothers in Christ beaten and abused because of their faith in Christ. It was a scene I don't think I'll even forget.
Yesterday I got an email from a dear friend about that video. Its images had a haunting effect on her and she struggled to put the images of such violence into context with her belief that God is a God of love. She boldly wondered: "There is no God of Love if he will allow us to suffer so terribly. I would protect my children and NEVER let that happen"
Truth is I've heard that statement in various forms more times than I can remember. It's a powerful and difficult thing to try and reconcile the reality of true evil and the existence of an all powerful and all loving God. Why would God allow evil, suffering, pain, heartbreak and the like if He has the power to stop it?
Below is my response to her and maybe to you too. Read it over and let me know what you think. How does it impact your view of evil and God? What questions does provoke? What comfort does it give? I'd love to hear your response!
"I'm so sorry that that video affected you that way. That of course wasn't the intention and I'm glad your heart pulling through.
One of the big questions I deal with (personally as well as from others) is exactly that: If God is so loving, why does he allow such pain and suffering in this world?
The best answer I found may surprise you. It comes back to His great love for us. A bit surprising that His love for us would be the place to start to understand suffering but walk with me through the thought and let me know what you think...
Here's how the discussion goes...
1. God loves us.
2. God loves us so much that He (even though he doesn't "need" it) desperately want us to love him back. Simply following him or obeying him isn't enough, he wants us heart, mind and soul.
3. That kind of close love relationship can only happen if we have the freedom to choose him. If we were all pre-programmed to respond to God then we could never truly be in love with him. We'd be at best robots, at worst a form of unwilling slave.
4. So God made an unbelievable concession. He gave us "free-will" The ability for us to choose him, to love him (and really to understand his love for us) came at a incredible price.
5. That price was the reality that having the ability to choose him also meant we have the ability to NOT choose him. In fact we have the freedom to do whatever we want to do. good, bad or indifferent.
6. Evil comes of course as a direct result of people rejecting God and His love.
So what do I do with this? I look at a video like that and see evil. Pure angry mob evil. I think of Stephan, the first martyr, who died in a mob that I bet looked a lot like that.
But I also think of Saul. I think if we had the video of Stephan's stoning we'd be sick to our stomachs and most of out righteous anger would be directed at the arrogant jerk holding the coats so people could throw the rock harder.
But here’s where the "aha" moment came for me. Why did God allow Stephan to be stoned? He could have stopped it, intervened like he had for Daniel in the lions den or for the 3 in the fiery furnace. Here’s what I think: God loves the "Sauls" just as much as he loves the "Stephens". And because of that he endures the suffering of the Stephan’s for the chance to save the Saul’s.
This seemed harsh to me until I began to see it from an eternal perspective. Really what’s 5 minutes of suffering compared to an eternity of paradise? For the matter what's 50 years of suffering compared to 50 trillion years of paradise?
All that to say this: There is terrible evil in this world. But I believe that sometimes God will use the evil of the world to show us the lostness of our souls and to cause us to cry out to him. He's loves us so much (and so desperately wants us to love him) that He'll endure the suffering of the righteous for the salvation of the wicked, knowing that the righteous man reward won't be found on this side of heaven anyway.
Wow, that turned out a TON longer than I thought. Sorry for rambling on but I really believe a understanding of this changed the way I see life and opportunity and pain and even my desire to live a comfortable life. Hopefully something in all that help you too... "
Yesterday I got an email from a dear friend about that video. Its images had a haunting effect on her and she struggled to put the images of such violence into context with her belief that God is a God of love. She boldly wondered: "There is no God of Love if he will allow us to suffer so terribly. I would protect my children and NEVER let that happen"
Truth is I've heard that statement in various forms more times than I can remember. It's a powerful and difficult thing to try and reconcile the reality of true evil and the existence of an all powerful and all loving God. Why would God allow evil, suffering, pain, heartbreak and the like if He has the power to stop it?
Below is my response to her and maybe to you too. Read it over and let me know what you think. How does it impact your view of evil and God? What questions does provoke? What comfort does it give? I'd love to hear your response!
"I'm so sorry that that video affected you that way. That of course wasn't the intention and I'm glad your heart pulling through.
One of the big questions I deal with (personally as well as from others) is exactly that: If God is so loving, why does he allow such pain and suffering in this world?
The best answer I found may surprise you. It comes back to His great love for us. A bit surprising that His love for us would be the place to start to understand suffering but walk with me through the thought and let me know what you think...
Here's how the discussion goes...
1. God loves us.
2. God loves us so much that He (even though he doesn't "need" it) desperately want us to love him back. Simply following him or obeying him isn't enough, he wants us heart, mind and soul.
3. That kind of close love relationship can only happen if we have the freedom to choose him. If we were all pre-programmed to respond to God then we could never truly be in love with him. We'd be at best robots, at worst a form of unwilling slave.
4. So God made an unbelievable concession. He gave us "free-will" The ability for us to choose him, to love him (and really to understand his love for us) came at a incredible price.
5. That price was the reality that having the ability to choose him also meant we have the ability to NOT choose him. In fact we have the freedom to do whatever we want to do. good, bad or indifferent.
6. Evil comes of course as a direct result of people rejecting God and His love.
So what do I do with this? I look at a video like that and see evil. Pure angry mob evil. I think of Stephan, the first martyr, who died in a mob that I bet looked a lot like that.
But I also think of Saul. I think if we had the video of Stephan's stoning we'd be sick to our stomachs and most of out righteous anger would be directed at the arrogant jerk holding the coats so people could throw the rock harder.
But here’s where the "aha" moment came for me. Why did God allow Stephan to be stoned? He could have stopped it, intervened like he had for Daniel in the lions den or for the 3 in the fiery furnace. Here’s what I think: God loves the "Sauls" just as much as he loves the "Stephens". And because of that he endures the suffering of the Stephan’s for the chance to save the Saul’s.
This seemed harsh to me until I began to see it from an eternal perspective. Really what’s 5 minutes of suffering compared to an eternity of paradise? For the matter what's 50 years of suffering compared to 50 trillion years of paradise?
All that to say this: There is terrible evil in this world. But I believe that sometimes God will use the evil of the world to show us the lostness of our souls and to cause us to cry out to him. He's loves us so much (and so desperately wants us to love him) that He'll endure the suffering of the righteous for the salvation of the wicked, knowing that the righteous man reward won't be found on this side of heaven anyway.
Wow, that turned out a TON longer than I thought. Sorry for rambling on but I really believe a understanding of this changed the way I see life and opportunity and pain and even my desire to live a comfortable life. Hopefully something in all that help you too... "
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
10 Commandments of Communication (Conflict)
Most every good idea I've ever had I stole from someone smarter than myself. This post is no different. This is a lesson on communication that Jason St. John teaches, and he claims to have stole most of it out of a magazine but he has no idea which one.
The main points are all his, the sub points are my commentary. I think most of can relate to most if not all of these.
10 Commandments of Communication (Conflict)
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted & used against you!"
Can you relate to that kind of a relationship?
JFK's famous line "Ich bin ein Berliner" can mean both "I'm a Berlin-person," or "I'm a jelly donut,". And I guess depending on how you take it could radically change the way you remember that speech!
Proverbs 12:18 says "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Simply put: the words we use matter. In fact the bible has all kinds of advice and warnings about our tongue and the impact of our words. God even goes as far as saying they hold the power of “life and death”. Sounds to me every bit as powerful as sticks and stones.
Question for you: do you measure your words? How easily do you throw around words like love, hate, never, and always?
When you’re emotional (angery, hurt, happy) do you pay special attention to what comes out of your month or to what you write? Or do you simple open your mouth and give a verbal green light to anything your emotions want to throw out there?
There is a difference between being “real” and being undisciplined and immature. Just like there is a difference between being fake and having self control. Just because we think it doesn't mean we should say it and just because we feel it doesn't make it right.
I think much or our stress in life comes from stress in relationships. And I believe most of our stress in relationships comes from our immaturity, selfishness and inability to control our tongues.
Lets look at what the bible says about conflict and the right way to handle it...
10 Commandments of Communication (Conflict)
Matt 18:15 “if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault just between the two of you. If he listens then you have won your brother over.
1. If you have a problem with me, or anyone else, please come to me or them (privately).
-don’t hide gossip behind the disguise of “prayer request.” If you haven’t tried to talk it out don’t get other people involved.
2. If I have a problem with you, I will come to you (privately).
-this can be hard, but doing the tough thing up front will save you the drama in the end.
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. I will do the same for you.
-Matthew 18:16-17 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go to him/her together. I am sure they will talk to us about this.”
-Pick as neutral a party as you can find. Not your best friend. You need a firefighter not an arsonist.
-“Treat them as a pagan or a tax collector” This doesn’t mean treat them poorly. (In fact Matthew himself was a ex-tax collector.) It means treat them with love but with caution because they are not following Christ and so they may not treat you like a brother.
5. If you say to me “People are talking”. I will ask “Who”? I would ask you to do the same to others.
5. If you say to me “People are talking”. I will ask “Who”? I would ask you to do the same to others.
-3 John 1:10 So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us.
-If you just say; “people, then everyone who is a “people” is a suspect. It blows things out of proportion and creates paranoia. If they wont say who, then “who” doesn’t matter. And if "who" really has an issue then refer to rules 1-3.
6. I will not read or be swayed by unsigned letters. If you send a signed letter don’t be surprised if I ask you to come and talk about it. (See rule 1)
-Same concept as rule #5. If someone doesn't have the guts to put their name on a letter it's probably because they don't want the accountability that comes with a complaint. The difference between a complainer and a concerned friend is that a friend will work toward a solution.
7. If it is confidential do not tell others. I will not tell other people unless (a) the person is going to harm himself/herself (b) the person is going to physically harm someone else (c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
-Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
-This is actually not only sound biblical advice but it also happens to be Federal law. It's called being a "Mandatory Reporter". If someone ever says to you "Promise you'll never tell!" then your default answer is "Nope. Sorry I can't make that promise and here's why..." A true friend cares for you than for your friendship. As odd as that sounds.
8. I will not manipulate people; I don’t want to be manipulated by others; don’t let others manipulate you.
8. I will not manipulate people; I don’t want to be manipulated by others; don’t let others manipulate you.
- Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
-Self-explanatory. If someone tries to manipulate you then they don't care about you. They care about themselves and simply want to use you to further their selfish desires. That s not the kind of person I want to be "friends" with.
9. Always feel free to ask any question you may have.
-Relationships thrive on open communication. It's an absolute must have for any relationship to grow. The flip side of this is trust. A healthy relationship can ask any question, but only a control freak actually does. There is a time for asking tough questions and that time should be embraced. But there's also a time to simply trust. Learn the balance, live happier.
10. Be careful of misinterpretations.
-The story has been told of a person who had purchased a small package of cookies at an airport before her flight. She sat down to wait for the time to board the plan and began to read a newspaper. Gradually, she became aware of a noise coming from the seat next to her. From behind her paper, she was stunned to see a man helping himself to her cookies. Not wanting to make a scene, but wanting the man to know she noticed him, she reached down and took a cookie for herself. A few moments went by, and she heard more rustling. She looked down to see the man taking another cookie. So, she reached down and took another cookie as well. Finally, she watched the man take the last cookie, break it in half and push the other half over to her. He ate the half-cookie, got up and left. The woman was furious! Later, on the plane, the woman opened her handbag and was both shocked and embarrassed to find her package of unopened cookies.
-If something seems out of character or out of nowhere, you probably don’t know the whole story or misunderstood the intentions. Take the time to clarify a persons intentions before you pass judgments.
-Look for ways to make peace, not pick fights. If you are going to make assumptions, then make the assumption that they didn't mean to tick you off. Or that they are just having a bad day. Give people the extra grace you'd like them to extend to you.
So what do you think?
Anything you would change?
Anything you would add?
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